Friday, March 25, 2005
marriage; love or arranged?
recieving texts from my sister (who is currently visiting london), it was certain that the topic of marriage would come up. of my marriage.
mum brought it up very casually indeed. would you like living in england? she knows the answer to this. i prefer home. home is norway.
growing up, my sister and I always envied indians in england. the food, the music, the clothes, the culture, the family (?) and last, but not least, peer indian friends.
being told we would one day be married off to someone in london was a good thing. we were too young. we did not understand what this meant.
love marriage has never really been an option, well not untill recently.
my parents have been having bigger marital problems than usual lately. i think this is what lead them to giving me the option.
summer of 2003 the story was completely different. one of our "missions" in england was to find my match, or atleast let everyone know we were looking.
it did not go too well. i made sure of that.
admittedly, i did not meet any of the two (three?) guys out of total free will. before i knew it, i had meet them. everyone kept telling me there was no pressure. that did not help me. the fact that these guys wanted to marry me after a 30 minute conversation did not help either. i felt pressured.
luckily for me there really was no pressure.
looking back on this now, i remember going into it with a fear. i feared having meet a couple of guys, and being "rejected" or "rejecting" them, my parents would come to a point where they would just want me to marry someone. soon.
good thing not all my paranoia thoughts do not come true.
i returned to norway. the topic has hardly come up since that summer.
i hate to admit it, but i have always been a romantic at heart, and therefore love marriage has always been the ideal. this romantics notion is a bit old fashioned thought, and maybe that is why it belongs to dreams.
these days i look at it much more practically. (much to my parents delight, i am sure!)
some time back i had a chat with a friend who told me about her cousin and how she had gone through somewhat the same emotions. atleast this reassures me that i have not gone completely mad! maybe arranged marriage is not that bad. that is the realisation i have come to lately.
apparently when a girl reaches a certain ages, she is willing to marry a guy cause he is decent. the fact that she may not have any feelings towards him does not matter. this is also how parents want you to look at it. this is what my parents hinted summer of 2003.
who knows, maybe by this summer i have "learnt" this and soon i will be moving to london. even though it is not home..
fake time: 1:58 am sunday, march 20, 2005
mum brought it up very casually indeed. would you like living in england? she knows the answer to this. i prefer home. home is norway.
growing up, my sister and I always envied indians in england. the food, the music, the clothes, the culture, the family (?) and last, but not least, peer indian friends.
being told we would one day be married off to someone in london was a good thing. we were too young. we did not understand what this meant.
love marriage has never really been an option, well not untill recently.
my parents have been having bigger marital problems than usual lately. i think this is what lead them to giving me the option.
summer of 2003 the story was completely different. one of our "missions" in england was to find my match, or atleast let everyone know we were looking.
it did not go too well. i made sure of that.
admittedly, i did not meet any of the two (three?) guys out of total free will. before i knew it, i had meet them. everyone kept telling me there was no pressure. that did not help me. the fact that these guys wanted to marry me after a 30 minute conversation did not help either. i felt pressured.
luckily for me there really was no pressure.
looking back on this now, i remember going into it with a fear. i feared having meet a couple of guys, and being "rejected" or "rejecting" them, my parents would come to a point where they would just want me to marry someone. soon.
good thing not all my paranoia thoughts do not come true.
i returned to norway. the topic has hardly come up since that summer.
i hate to admit it, but i have always been a romantic at heart, and therefore love marriage has always been the ideal. this romantics notion is a bit old fashioned thought, and maybe that is why it belongs to dreams.
these days i look at it much more practically. (much to my parents delight, i am sure!)
some time back i had a chat with a friend who told me about her cousin and how she had gone through somewhat the same emotions. atleast this reassures me that i have not gone completely mad! maybe arranged marriage is not that bad. that is the realisation i have come to lately.
apparently when a girl reaches a certain ages, she is willing to marry a guy cause he is decent. the fact that she may not have any feelings towards him does not matter. this is also how parents want you to look at it. this is what my parents hinted summer of 2003.
who knows, maybe by this summer i have "learnt" this and soon i will be moving to london. even though it is not home..
fake time: 1:58 am sunday, march 20, 2005
